To go along with my previousentry I recently discovered a band by the name of Flyleaf. They are a band out of Temple, TX. I know the lead singer/writer, Lacey Mosley, is a Christian and in one of their songs on their self-titled debut album she sums up how I sometimes feel about Christianity.church today. The song is called sick and I am going to post it below. If you like heavy music this is a great band to check out. They have been on tour with Evanescence and Staind in the last year and they are very powerful. If you like Evanescence or Staind you will definitely like this band.

excerpt from "I'm so Sick", words and music by Lacey Mosley/Flyleaf copyright 2005

I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I'm so sick, infected with
Where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I feel like Lacey is lashing out at complacent Christians who think that simply going to their posh churches on Sunday morning makes them good Christians. She is trying to get Christians to see that we have got it all wrong in how we practice Christianity. I love the line that says "let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness". When I am walking through churches I can almost feel the emptiness that is produced by people doing church to make themselves feel better about being pretty hypocritical throughout the week. This act is selfish in that it is all about making you feel better. Also, in the line that says "we can push out, sell out, die out, so you'll shut up and stay sleeping", this reminds me that we have lost the whole point of why we go to church. The church is asleep right now and is content to go through the motions and I know that it will eventually die out. I am totally guilty of both of these things for I don't know how long and it does make me feel "sick". I may be totally misinterpreting what Lacey meant by this song but that is the beauty of music. It can have different meanings for different people.

I was reading my friend Shon's blog yesterday (you can find it at http://shonsoapbox.blog.spot.com) and he gave some statistics about how people of the X and Y generations are not going to traditional churches anymore. It totally doesn't surprise me that these generations don't buy into church anymore. For some reason, the younger generations seem to have a great ability of determining whether or not people are being genuine. Like I said in my previous entry, churches feel a show or a play you go to once a week instead of a place where we can come together and worship and be a family of believers. All the church wants is your "tithe" or "offering" and if that doesn't happen, you'll get an obligatory sermon on the importance of tithing just so the church can pay the bills. We can totally see right through sermons like that. Why does a church need a big ornate building? Why does a church need to have a budget? Why can't we find a way to worship God as a group of people without racking up debt through mortgages, rent, utility bills, etc.? There has to be a way of doing away with most of that.

Now, I understand there needs to be a pastor and a board of leaders for a group of believers, that's biblical. But whatever happened to full time ministers living in poverty and depending on God for their needs. Now, I know that that dependance on God comes through our tithes and offerings and I am all for giving back to God. It just bugs me that the money I give doesn't always go back to God's work. It sometimes goes for a fancy car for a pastor or a downpayment on a huge house, or into a fund to save money for an even bigger church with more state of the art facilities, or some other useless expense when it could just go to missionaries who are getting the message of God's love to people who have never heard it or the poor and sick who truly need it. Granted, part of the money we give for tithe and offering does go to these people but if Jesus were walking around today what do you think he would spend his money on? I don't claim to be perfect in how I spend my money but I am also not a pastor or a board member of a church who gets to make these decisions.

All of this just gets me to a point where I know we need something new in the way we fellowship with others and God. It just feels like church is getting out of control and running farther and farther away from God. God has been taken out of the picture and replaced with money and men's wisdom.

Have we become the Pharisees and Saducees? Are we those who would have begged for mercy for Jesus to be saved from the cross or would we be the mob who called for the release of Barabbas? Do we really want to give up a life of luxury and complacency for a life of poverty and struggle? These are questions that I ask myself and am scared of what my genuine answer is.